You Have 24 Hours in Singapore. Go.

First taste of legendary Singapore traffic - and legendary Singapore strictness (the sign warns that smoking in the bus could result in a two-year PRISON TERM)

Some well-intentioned but seemingly unrelated advice from the government of Singapore - "Love and Respect Our Parents tops all Virtues. Sexual Misconduct is the root of all evils."

All street food stalls have been moved to specially-designated "food centres" which conform to impeccable standards of hygiene. Pictured: chicken rice and oysters at one such centre in the Upper Thomson district

For your information, $10 pints = a pretty damn good deal in Singapore

We noticed a number of signs around town promoting wholesome group activities

Apparently, urination in the lift was a big enough problem to warrant a sign

When you lose mental ability...

Public engagement is huge - the little girl pictured has won a contest for her sweet poem encouraging courtesy on public transport

These guys were so awesome. When it was time for them to get off, they stood up slowly one by one, without ever once looking up from their phones, and shuffled silently off the train.

Helpful cartoons promoting good hygiene in food centres

Caving in to dumpling pressure

If I need to transport a 32-inch plasma TV, I'll probably find alternate transport rather than take the metro, but thanks

Singapore! Yeah!!

Prohibitively-priced beer at the grocery store

As you observe the price of that entirely ordinary bottle of Kim Crawford sauv blanc, which costs about $18 in Montreal, consider that New Zealand is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM SINGAPORE!

Guess how much a tub of Haagen-Dasz costs.

Prawn crackers

A pretty delicious pork noodle soup

Magnets making light of Singapore's reputation for doling out fines for every offence

Pagoda Road in Chinatown is mistakenly named after this Hindu temple

An early depiction of Singapore's Chinatown, which is sometimes referred to as the cradle of Singapore's civilization

So many options - so many of them involving noodles

You haven't lived until you've experienced these sweet potato doughnuts

This is called carrot cake. There are black and white versions - this one is black. There are no carrots in it. So. Yeah.

The lady pictured has been making oyster cakes for 45 years. They are divine deep-fried morsels of rice flour enveloping oysters, prawns and minced pork. I bitterly regret not being able to have more than one.

What now?

Rojak, a savoury fruit salad - apples, papaya and cucumber slathered with a heady dressing of tamarind, lime, chillie and shrimp paste.

Verifying that they do not, in fact, appear to sell gum in Singapore convenience stores (those are mints)

Big eyes = big business in Asia.

Hokkien mee

Between food courts

The egg from which Singapore was hatched

Even Chinatown is neat and orderly! Here are some lovely restored shophouses.

Prawn crackers

A faithful replica of the interior of a shophouse in the 50s at the Chinatown Heritage Centre

These polite and conscientious young people were conducting a survey about Chinatown and took a liking to us - probably because the majority of the other survey respondents were drunk and belligerent Australians